I have been pouring through Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project this past week (absolutely amazing and inspiring) and have come to realize what may be a stumbling block in my quest for a true self-portrait. That is the acceptance of my own true self. Rubens talks about how she used to not tell people about liking certain things, like reading Harry Potter, she was nervous about letting parts of herself show because of what people might think, and pretending to like things because it seemed like she should.
I can completely sympathise with Rubin in this because as an artist I have always felt out of place. I have never felt cool enough or arty enough to be a fine art photographer, because if you're a fine art photographer my age you must be one of the two.
I've always felt too...normal I guess, uninteresting. I dress too preppy, I don't enjoy arty films, I don't hang out at dive bars, buy all my clothes second hand or read Tolstoy. But as I come to terms with what I do enjoy I am going to try and let that show in my images, because even though I don't fit what I see as the criteria to be a fine art photographer I am one and I am going to start finding joy in what I like, like hamburgers, romcom trash and spy novels. Heck, I'm a feminist who loves to bake while listening to Jimmy Buffett, such a hodgepodge makes me special (I just love the word hodgepodge). The photographs over the next few months are going to be quite a mix and hopefully quite me.
How do you differ from the image you have of your profession?
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